Breaking All the Rules Read online

  “This is my shot,” I whispered into my quiet apartment.

  I remembered being happy with him in the past, against all odds. I still hadn’t completely forgotten how heartbreaking it was to end things with him. I walked into the kitchen, lost in thought, and poured a glass of wine. I leaned against the cool refrigerator door as I took small sips. I replayed the afternoon in my head, over and over, as I rationalized everything. I wanted this to be a possibility. I wanted it to be okay. At that moment, the reaction of my parents didn’t even cross my mind.

  I was still too wound up from the afternoon antics to think clearly. I was convinced that Johnny wasn’t too bad of a guy even if his prison record said otherwise. After the way he’d opened up to me during the session earlier, I knew he was just trying to make it on his own in the only way he knew how. I undid the top two buttons of my blouse and pulled it out so that it was no longer tucked into my skirt. I kicked off my heels and sighed.

  Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door that almost made me drop my glass of wine. I took a sip and walked over. It was probably Scott. He had the annoying habit of knocking almost every night under the pretense of checking on me like I was a little girl that couldn’t take care of herself. I knew it was yet another one of his attempts to show that he cared about me, but it was just another irritating thing about him I’d rather do without. I didn’t understand it– nor did I want to understand it. It wasn’t until my hand was on the door handle that I thought maybe his intrusion was a welcome one for the night. Maybe seeing him would pull me out of the dreamlike state I was in. Even then, there was a part of me that knew I needed to get it together.

  I pulled the door open and the glass of wine really did slip from my hand a bit. I clutched it just in time, but one drop splashed out and landed on the jeans of the last person I ever expected to be at my door.

  Johnny.

  I looked at him, eyes wide, but was completely speechless. Then a movement from behind him caught my attention. That was when I saw Scott standing at the doorway of his condo, eyeing Johnny with clear disdain. I clutched the wine glass and, without thinking, finished what was left in one panicked gulp.

  “Thirsty?” Johnny asked, with a smirk.

  “What- what are you doing here?”

  Before he had the chance to respond, Scott cleared his throat loudly. Both Johnny and I turned to look at him. He took a large step toward us. Johnny glanced back at me before turning his entire body to face Scott. I could tell Scott was trying to look strong and confident, but it was clear to me that Johnny intimidated him. I wouldn’t have blamed Scott for being afraid of him either. The air was tense.

  I just wanted to disappear into my home.

  “Jenny,” Scott finally said, pointedly looking at me, “I was about to head over to fix your radiator like you asked.”

  I stared at Scott in confusion. I never asked him to fix my radiator. I didn’t have a single clue what he was talking about. I opened my mouth, ready to say something when it clicked in my mind that he was offering me an ‘out’. He was intruding because he thought I needed protection. He didn’t want to leave me alone with Johnny.

  I closed my mouth and turned to look at Johnny, who was staring at me with amusement. I could tell he knew exactly what was going on, but he wasn’t making any snide remarks about it. He was just waiting to see how it all played out. My gaze dropped to my empty glass of wine and then my bare feet. I felt a tingle crawl up and down my spine when I remembered how Johnny made my toes curl.

  I shook the thought out of my head, “Thank you, Scott, but it can wait until another time.”

  “Are you sure?” He asked, almost forcefully as he took another step forward.

  Johnny did a poor job of stifling a chuckle as he shook his head. I glanced at him before looking back at Scott. It was obvious he was disappointed, but he didn’t say anything else. I just nodded and stepped back, motioning for Johnny to walk into my apartment. I followed him in and shut the door, without looking back at Scott. I placed my hand flat and listened for a few seconds until I finally heard his door shut from across the hall. It was louder than usual. He probably slammed it shut. I didn’t want to think about Scott being pissed off. That would open a can of worms and, as far as I was concerned, it was none of his business who I let into my place.

  I turned to look at Johnny, “How did you find out where I live?”

  I didn’t feel afraid. I was shocked, sure, but not scared. As scary as he was, I knew he would never hurt me.

  He gave his characteristic smirk, “I have my ways.”

  “You have your ways?”

  Johnny winked at me and clicked his tongue before looking around the living room. Meanwhile, my heart was racing again. I looked at every inch of him, from head to toe, while he surveyed his surroundings. I watched his eyes and stared at his mouth, remembering what he did with it earlier that day. I looked at his muscles and his hands. I focused on those skilled fingers that had touched and pleasured me that afternoon. I felt my skin grow hot again as flashes from the afternoon played out in my mind. He turned his back to me and walked toward my couch, but didn’t take a seat. I followed him, still completely lost in lustful memories from earlier that day.

  Suddenly, he turned to look at me. In his eyes, I saw the same look of desire from earlier. It was piercing and purposeful. It took every ounce of self-control not to run and launch my body onto his. I had never experienced anything like it. I gulped. my heart was beating impossibly fast and everything seemed to stand still. My breath caught in my throat. I moved back to lean against the door because I felt my knees go weak. I gripped the doorknob, but only after absentmindedly locking the door. Johnny watched my hand and then took a few steps closer to me. He was still smirking, but it was different this time. It matched the look in his eyes. It was the same look that made me feel like I could melt right in to the floor.

  Before I knew it, he had me pinned against the door and his lips were on mine. I opened my mouth as he deepened the kiss. It was the roughest, most passionate kiss of my life. I gave in to it completely. His fingers were unbuttoning my blouse in a matter of seconds before he pushed it off my shoulders. I didn’t even have time to think about how unbelievable it was that I was sharing a hot kiss while topless with him, a client. All I cared about was the feeling of pleasure and excitement coursing through every nerve of my body.

  Johnny kissed my neck and turned me around, pinning my wrists above my head with one hand while he used the other to unclasp my bra. It fell to the floor and I immediately felt his hands cup my breasts. He pressed his palms against them and teased my nipples as he kissed and nibbled on my neck, making me moan and my legs shake. I ached for more of him.

  I slipped my hands under his t-shirt and the moment I felt his chiseled abs, I had to pull away from the kiss to gasp. Johnny pulled off his shirt to reveal his body, which wasn’t just muscular, but smooth unlike his hands and scruffy face. My eyes traced over every line of his abs before he pulled me in to his arms for another deep kiss. He seamlessly lowered me to the floor and unzipped my skirt, tugging it down my legs as soon as I was lying down.

  My chest heaved with every breath I took. My heart pounded so hard I was sure even Scott could hear it from across the hall.

  Johnny placed his hands on either side of my head and kissed me long and slow. Every fiber of my being melted in to him. I felt the weight of his body on top of mine and as soon as I felt his hard bulge press against my thigh, my eyes shot wide open. I gasped in to his mouth and moaned. Even in his pants, it felt large and thick. I pushed my hips up naturally and whimpered, curling my fingers so that my nails bit at his shoulders.

  I had never felt so hot in my life and that was even after the way he worked me in my office earlier. I could have never imagined a more intense feeling, but there was Johnny, lying on top of me and kissing me and turning me on so much that now I knew it was possible. I reached down and fumbled to unbutton his jeans, but my hands shook too m
uch. Despite it all, I was still nervous.

  Johnny chuckled and leaned back on the balls of his feet to undo his jeans and unceremoniously pull out his thick erection. My eyes bulged at the sight of it. I gulped. my mouth watered and that was definitely not something I experienced just by looking at a man. I curled my slender fingers in to a fist as my entire body shuddered with pure, unadulterated desire. My skin was on fire and heat coursed through my veins. I could feel the wetness between my legs growing and soaking through my panties.

  Johnny started to stroke his shaft while his eyes were fixed on one spot of my body– the part that gave away, without a doubt, just how much I wanted him already.

  He parted my legs and positioned his body between them. Still holding his shaft, he rubbed the head of his length over the soaked fabric of my panties. I pursed my lips shut and moaned, arching my back and closing my eyes. I felt every inch of my body shaking and aching for more. How it was possible for someone to elicit such strong feelings from me, I didn’t know. All I knew was that he was making me feel and do things I would never have imagined in a million years… And I was enjoying every second of it.

  Unable to help myself, I reached between our bodies and wrapped my hand around him. I held my breath and stared in to his dark brown eyes. He sucked in a breath through clenched teeth the moment I wrapped my fingers around him. As soon as I started to stroke him, he placed his hand on my wrist to stop me. He kissed me again. The kiss was deep and passionate, almost animalistic, but it didn’t last long. His mouth closed around one of my nipples. I felt his tongue swirl around the tip of my breast, which forced me to arch my back even more. He ran his hand over my leg before guiding me to wrap it around him. I thrust my hips up and felt his hardness push against me. I let out another panty whimper. There was a hint of desperation in my sounds. Johnny pulled back to look in to my eyes. He had a satisfied smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

  He pushed my panties to the side again but, this time, it wasn’t his finger or his tongue that I felt inside of me. I slammed my fist on my carpeted floor as he slid his entire length into me, nice and slow. I panted like someone fighting for air. I felt him thrust while his hands explored every exposed inch of my body. My eyes clenched shut as I rocked my hips up and down with his rhythm. I was completely lost in the moment that I didn’t have the slightest clue how much or how little time had passed.

  All that existed was the experience I was sharing with him.

  I eventually found myself curled up and holding onto his body as he thrust hard and fast. The sound of his grunts and groans filled my condo along with the sound of our bodies slapping together. Hot tingles spread through my body like wildfire. My toes curled in tight, little balls. My hands clawed at the back of his neck so hard it must have hurt.

  And, just like that, I was lying on my back sweating, trying to catch my breath, and feeling overwhelmed.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jenny

  We were both standing in the kitchen, completely nude, which was yet another new thing for me to do. I thought I would have felt self-conscious about it, but that wasn’t the case. I reached up for a couple of wine glasses and poured the rich, deep red liquid in each before handing him one.

  “You made some real progress tonight,” he teased.

  I laughed and rolled my eyes before taking a sip of wine. I didn’t let him see that his joke actually did sting. It was a reminder of all the ways that I failed by letting myself get carried away with him. I got lost in the moment, utterly lost, and I enjoyed every second of it. As I looked at his chiseled body and in to his deep, dark eyes I thought it was unfair for me to feel badly for what had just happened between us.

  “I could say the same about you,” I said with a smirk.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “You’ve been talking about this since we first-”

  I stopped talking abruptly and looked away. I didn’t want to say it was since we first met because there was too much history there. I also didn’t want to bring up therapy. I took a long sip of wine before finally finding the courage to look back at him. He took a sip and set his glass down before walking over to me. I felt my heart pound again. My eyes raked over every inch of his body. He took my glass of wine and set it on the counter behind me. His skin grazed mine and sent a cascade of chills down my body. He smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth so gently it sent shivers down the back of my neck.

  It was a disarmingly tender moment between us and it made my pounding heart completely stop. I placed my hand on the back of his head and looked deep in to his eyes. For a moment it felt like we were really a couple. As he placed his hand over mine to envelope it in his own, it truly seemed as if we were just having a lovely night—like ordinary people.

  “You’re not a very good host, you know,” he said softly.

  “I’m not? Sex and wine-”

  “But no tour. I don’t even know what your bedroom looks like.”

  I giggled softly and felt my neck and face grow hot. I knew exactly where this was going and I was more than willing to lead the way. We walked down the hallways, hand-in-hand, until we reached my bedroom. It was spacious and tidy. He turned to look at me. He smiled and then kissed me. His arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled my body flush against his. I could feel every inch of him against me and it made me feel like liquid heat was coursing through my body again.

  He kissed my deep and held me tight, running one of his hands straight down my back until it rested on the curve of my ass. He gave it a squeeze and I squealed in surprised delight. He weaved his fingers through my hair and pulled my head back to expose my neck, showering it with kisses and tiny nibbles. He wrapped his arms around me again and lifted me just enough to turn me so that we were standing inside my bedroom.

  He ran his hands down my arms and took my hands as he kissed me passionately. I could feel his rough mannerisms coming on again and I felt even more excitement flush through me. He pushed me back, but held onto me so I wouldn’t fall, moving me backward toward the bed until I fell onto it. He knelt in front of me and spread my legs, kissing the inside of my knee before licking a straight line up my inner thigh.

  “That feels so good.” I panted as I curled my fingers in to my bedspread. He kissed and licked at my wetness. He worked me with his mouth just like he had in his office, only this time there was something more intimate about it. My teeth sank in to my lip as I arched my back off the bed.

  “You’re amazing,” I breathed out.

  Johnny stood up and crawled over to me. He looked in to my eyes. I felt like he was silently telling me that I was amazing too; maybe he just couldn’t bring himself to say the actual words. His lips landed against me again. I felt his erection press in to me, forcing a moan out of me. I pushed my hips up as I searched for more of his touch.

  Johnny moved to the side and turned me around, pulling me back against his chest. He trailed kissed down the back of my neck. One hand fondled my chest while he traced my lips with his other. I felt his thumb slip just past my lips. I nibbled on it before slipping it in to my mouth. I pushed back against him and felt his hard length push up against my ass. He groaned in to my ear, causing my entire body to shudder.

  I shut my eyes just before he pushed me onto my back. I kept them closed and just let myself feel everything. I wanted to feel his skin on mine, his hands touching me, his lips kissing me, his erection inside of me. I wanted to feel the pleasure and excitement and intimacy of the moment.

  He pushed my hair off my forehead and pressed his lips against mine. His breathing was heavy, and his touches were rougher, so I knew the moment was approaching. He pushed my legs open. I reached down to wrap my hand around the base of his thick shaft, guiding him inside of me. My feet pointed straight as I let out a low groan. He hissed when I squeezed him a bit too tight, but that was because I had gotten overly eager. I released him in favor of holding onto his shoulders as he started to thrust. Our movement was perfectly in sync.

&nb
sp; And, just like that, our orgasms were in sync too.

  We were lying on the bed, sweaty and breathing heavily, just enjoying the darkness of the bedroom. As I started to come down from my high and the intense pleasure I just experienced, my worried thoughts started to flood my mind.

  I could feel his arms against me. It was warm. I closed my eyes and thought about how much I enjoyed being with him. It wasn’t just about the sex. I liked talking to him. I appreciated his sense of humor, even if he did use it to give me a hard time. I really liked getting to know him in a way that wasn’t possible through therapy.

  Therapy.

  Dread washed over me. I curled my hand in to a fist and that’s when I felt him shift. I turned to look at him and found him staring at me.

  He looked more relaxed than I had ever seen him and that made me settle down a bit too. Seeing the way he was looking at me made everything feel like it made sense. He placed his hand on my stomach and I made a little noise of appreciation. I thought that things could work out for us after all. Maybe things could be perfect between us. For the first time in my life, I thought that something that was so great could actually be good for me and not too complicated. The man who was in bed with me felt like an entirely different man that had walked into my office.